Inevitable is Change

I'm ready for change. I think that's why I really want a new hair cut. I would already have one but Ashley isn't calling my mom back so we can't really set up an appointment with her. It's frustrating-it's like she's fallen off the face of the earth or something. Who knows. But yeah-I want a new haircut. Something radically different than what I have like a new part, new length, new color, new whatever. Maybe not a new color but something different. I don't really know specifically what I want though... I'm just ready for a change-a change in scenery, people, place, etc.

Lately I've been thinking about my future career. I've considered so many from curator to linguistic anthropologist. I think I'd love to go to Africa and be a teacher or a doctor there. For about 2 years of my life I wanted to be an anesthesiologist then that died away. I'm just an easy-to-please type person. A lot of things interest me-especially intellectual things. I'm not a creative artsy person and I really admire people who are creative/artsy. When I go to college, I feel like I want to major in history, German, anthropology, nursing, English, business, economics, etc. Then I have to think, "do I really want to be researching for the rest of my life which is basically what anthropologists do?" I like to read but I definitely don't want to be an author. I would hate being a politician and lawyer. Teaching would be too frustrating for me. I just don't know. I feel like time is creeping up behind me and even though I have some time left in high school, it'll all be over. To me, high school is a serious time and it is the ultimate determining factor in one's future. I mean, it determines what kind of college you get into and to me, college is even more important than high school. High school is just the beginning of a long chain of dominoes: Life is a long chain of dominoes. Maybe I take life too seriously but I guess that's just the way I am.

Question: Is it odd to think that the whole idea of dying is somewhat comforting?

Rain

What is it that I love about rain? I don't know why, but I'm in love with it. It's just so perfect... I like to wander in it, get lost. It's just soothing. It's like the color grey. I feel like it describes me well. I'm rather a melancholy person.

We had a QB tournament yesterday. The most I remember about it was there was a Harry Potter question about Diagon Alley and Eshwar buzzed in and said Gringott's. He was so proud of himself at the time, too that he knew the answer. But he got it wrong. It's ok, we won that game by like 200 points anyway. We went up against Huron Valley and lost but it wasn't really even a team. It was this one guy and he knew every single answer that his team got. He was the only one that scored any points. We were creamed by DCD which was to be expected. There was a Mormon question but before the question ended, Andrew buzzed in and said the KKK. I couldn't help but marvel at the paradox that created in my mind. I had great noodles for lunch at Noodles & Co. Andrew is really good at singing the theme song for CSI. And Samantha should have been there when I totally powered a Henrik Ibsen question all because of a "syphilitic husband in Ghosts".

Rambling

I don't necessarily have anything new to blog about but I'm procrastinating my AP Euro homework so I thought I might as well do something a teeny bit productive. I have my cup of hot cocoa and I'm listening to Come Fly With Me by Frank Sinatra. It's actually pretty quiet in my house at 9:02 a.m. I'm thinking about different things and one that comes to mind is Stephen King. I've never read any of his works but he's my favorite author of the month. I'm not going to rant about it but if you'd like to know more, click here.
In my church we're starting a book club and the first book we're going to read is Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. My friend, Kyrie, and I have been asked to establish the book club and I think this is a good thing. This way, I can make sure we're all reading quality literature. :P But seriously.
Anyway I'm excited about it however I don't know of any other books we're going to read. I would have us read Rebecca but I don't know if it would be approved by our leaders. But I love that book. Maybe I'll blog about it someday. It's absolutely wonderful...if you like a dark, 1950's mystery novel. I'm thinking about some Dickens like Tale of Two Cities. Do you think some Edgar Alan Poe would be approved? Or maybe some Arthur Miller? All I can think of are the classics. I'm not very into modern authors but I'm thinking I'll have to look into that because the classics can get pretty arduous at times and they're not every one's cup of tea. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!
Kyrie and I are meeting this Saturday to make announcements for the first book club meeting. I'm excited. We're totally making 18th century invitations with time period verbiage and eloquent writing. It's totally cheesy but we figured since we're reading Jane Austen we might as well have the invitations sound like she wrote them. It's so lame but it's exactly something I would do and be thrilled about doing.

The Sims 3

Two minutes ago, I learned some tragic news. The release date for Sims 3 will be delayed. Apparently EA is "evaluating the launch window" of Sims 3 and have delayed it for another four months. The new release date is June 2, 2009.

Bad news: I have to wait another three and a half months before I can play this game.

Good news: It'll be the summer so I'll have plenty of free time to play Sims 3.

Sigh....

Yearning

Sometimes I feel like I want too much from life. There are way too many things to do and such little time to do them in. It's as if I look forward to life but no matter how far I stretch, my fingertips don't seem to even brush my aspirations. I'm too inhibited, emotionally, financially, physically, etc. My bucket list just seems to never end. I want to travel the earth and know, not just believe, that the earth is round. I want to go to so many art museums- the MOMA, London Gallery of Art, Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, the Louvre. I feel like my expectations are too high, that bar I set for myself far beyond my grasp. So many things, so little time. I guess I just have to focus on what's important in life and to me that would be family, education, and religion. I have to focus on all that I have instead of what I don't have. I have to be patient, I can't have everything at once. I guess like every other person in the world I want to leave a mark on this earth. It doesn't have to be a big one, it doesn't have to impact millions of people. I'm ok with being a watermark, something that is behind the big picture. I don't want attention to surround me but I would like to be somewhat important. Just goes to prove that "we all seem so different but we're just the same." (Kudos to whoever can tell me what song that's from except Clayton.)

Jackson Pollock

He is my current favorite abstract expressionist painter. At first, I guffawed at the idea of some guy dripping paint across canvas and people calling it incredible art. Then I started researching him. I discovered that it's not what he made but how he made it. The above painting, called Autumn Rhythm, is one of my favorites by him. It's 8.75 feet high and 17.25 feet wide and was painted in the 1950's. He dripped paint across a canvas on the floor and the way he spread it is the most interesting to me. He used knives, trowels, and sticks to spread the paint across the canvas. To me, it's just so different and when I look at it it reminds me of different flavors of coffee spilled across the canvas.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day. What a joke, what a slap in the face to all other holidays. Well maybe it's not as bad as a slap in the face but it's a horrible holiday. I mean, we celebrate it because there was this Roman, named Valentine, who decided to break the law and illegally marry young Roman soldiers. So technically we have a holiday that celebrates someone who broke the law. There is just nothing really special behind it...I feel like someone was desperate for a holiday and established Valentine's Day. I dunno.....

So I just took this test to find out what religion I am and here are my top ten:

1. Mormon (real shocker there)
2. Jehovah's Witness
3. Orthodox Quaker
4. Baha'i Faith (what is this?)
5. Mainline Christian/Protestant
6. Mainline Liberal Christian Protestants
7. Orthodox Judaism
8. Sikhism
9. Liberal Quakers
10. Seventh Day Adventist

Hmmm...I feel like I could have predicted the majority of those without taking a test.