Holding Back

I'm beginning to notice that there are certain times when I just need to hold back.

Sometimes it's hard for me to not be everyone's mother, especially when I care about a person.

But there are times when I feel like I don't know what to say. I want to express an urgency to keep going, I want to express my incredulity at their actions, I want to point out future ramifications of actions. But I just don't know how to say this without being rude or unnecessarily bossy. And it just isn't my place.

So I hold back, and hope that things get done. Hope is confidence, right? A confidence in things not seen but are true. A bit like faith.

Forgetting

I think the ability to consciously and willfully forget is an aspect of God.

I'm no genius, but I have a pretty good memory. When people talk, I listen, and when I listen, I internalize. Words and images are easily impressed upon my mind.

Sometimes my ability to remember things can be rather harmful to myself and my relationships with others. I don't mean to, but I hold onto people's words, and they sometimes resurface in my brain. Even when I thought I was over something or I had already let something go, shells of said words return to me, and I discover that they still slightly sting.

And I just want to forget. That would facilitate so much in my life, make many hurt or bitter feelings easier to overcome.

I never want to be the kind of person that brings up past words or deeds as justification for my actions. I never want to be that kind of wife, especially, who tells her husband that "you did this which affected me in this way, and now I'm doing this thing, so why can't you just be whatever?" Obviously that was a really vague example, but I think it could be pretty easy to fill in those blanks with specific actions or words.

Hence, my conclusion: it is an attribute of God to simply and consciously forget when we as humans err.
Oh, to be like God!