Leben (Life)

Life right now is short of chaotic. 

It's all about the AP Test. In the past week, I've had at least three dreams about studying AP Euro with Samantha, Saniya, or Spencer or all three. It's so bizarre; so outre. 

I've been so spacey lately. I took a practice AP test Saturday and I took my Scantron home. I don't know why I did, I was the only person who did that. But for some reason, I thought we could. I don't know why but it just really hit me. It hit me hard. Probably hit my ego more than anything but I just felt so discouraged. It was so minuscule, I know. It was as if I was slowly losing my mind. I probably am. Bit by bit, day by day. It's like dying: slow and inevitable.  

At least I didn't say that the Big Bang was the thing that killed the dinosaurs like a girl did in my Biology class today.

I'm becoming so frustrated. With this thing and this person and it just drives me crazy. I can't really even explain it so sorry for the arbitrary vagueness.  

More and more I'm becoming distant. I think I should have been born in the late nineteenth century. As I'm studying for AP Euro I find that I agree with the artists and authors of the Romantic movement. I like nature more than this superficial world I'm in. I see art and literature as a way to escape, leave this world. I'm sitting here, waiting, not doing anything. The only thing I don't agree with is emotion over reason and that's just one little part of Romanticism. 

Just call me John Constable. 

Happy Independence Day Togo!