"It's you I like.
It's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair
But it's you I like.
The way you are right now
The way down deep inside you.
Not the things that hide you.
Not your caps and gowns,
They're just beside you.
But it's you I like.
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you remember
Even when you're feeling blue.
That it's you I like,
It's you, yourself
It's you.It's you I like."

"...it's likely that each of us, despite our best intentions, carelessly conflates the power to act in God's name [the priesthood] with the vehicle designed to administrate its use."

--Naylene McBaine

Photography as a Truthful Medium

Today in class, Dr. Clark was talking a lot about photography.
He was saying how photography has this reputation for being the most truthful representation, when in reality this veracity was never the case. There have always been staging and editing of photographs before or after capturing the scene, combining of different prints to get the desired finished product, etc. Then he made the observation that, unlike human sight, photography offers a tunneled view of things. He supported this claim with the fact that humans can turn and physically move so as to view something else, but you can't do that with a photograph. Photographs offer a narrow perspective of events, places, and people.

And this is true, but I think that human vision is guilty of the same thing.

How many times do we think we get the whole story by looking at someone or something? We read an article or two about an occurrence, feel informed, establish an opinion, and think we know what went on or what should happen to remedy the situation. We see what people wear, say, laugh at, etc., and begin to think we know who they are as a person, what they believe or think. We want so much to believe that the whole story is right there in front of our eyes, but it never is. The only thing we come close to entirely understanding are our own actions, and even our comprehension of ourselves is rather limited.

So I would put forth the following claim: photography is the *most truthful medium, because it unmasks human vision's own limitations.

Like photography, our vision is that of a tunnel, and quite naturally so. As humans, as organisms and animals, it's natural for us to be egocentric to one degree or another. I think we kid ourselves to say that we enjoy this freedom of sight and perspective that isn't limited, edited, or partial when in reality it is all of the above. Like photography, we never see the whole story; we never see a vision of something that isn't clouded by our own perceptions or experiences. Our reality is cropped, framed, and limited. Even after we experience something, how often do we go back and try to understand the situation, put a new spin on it, and even alter our opinion of what happened? Our reality is akin to the "reality" put forth by photography.

In that way, photography is very real, because it replicates human sight. So I would call it a "truthful" medium.


*I don't know if I would call it the "most" truthful, because I think that painting is similar to photography in many regards, but more thoughts on that later. 

My [hip-hop magic jazz fingers] Nathan

So today, we were ordering our Bountiful Basket (if you don't know what that is, go here for more information). Bountiful baskets come with lots of fresh fruits and veggies, but they also offer what are called "add-ons." These are additional items you can order such as bread, additional produce, etc. Nathan and I were trying to decide which add-on we wanted, and we were corresponding over email (oh you know, this one looks good, but what do you want? I dunno, this one looks good, too. What do you want? etc.) when Nathan busted this out:

"Alas, my decision is yet delayed, for my tastebuds yearn for one add-on like unto many others.  That is to say, I think the 5 9-grain loaves sounds delish.  That's currently my only competitor with the tropical hip-hop magic jazz fingers add on.  My only worry is, we don't have room to freeze four loaves of bread, much less three.  I therefore must conclude that if thou hast no objections to the magical flip floppety tropical add on, that this will be a choice of superior quality and wisdom.  I thank thee.  What says't thou?"

It was one of those moments where I realized the great choice I made in marrying this multifaceted and quick-witted husband of mine. 

Something Way Cool

I just rediscovered Christine de Pizan, and so should you: The Book of the City of Ladies
I want to read this book. To think that other women, well before the twenty-first century, were taking care to preserve the memory of other influential women is astounding, and I want to know about them. Who doesn't want a renegotiation of the Medieval Era's popular image?

Feminist Confessions

Lately I've been toying with the idea of starting an LDS feminist blog. But I really don't think I could keep it up on a regular basis, and I'm not sure I have something to contribute. I like reading and being aware of discourses. So maybe I'll just compile links of good blogs or articles to read. (Sometimes I wish there was more of that on the internet.) Or maybe write a blog about Mormon women's history. Guys, that stuff is inspiring and so interesting, and I want to talk about it more. I'll consider it.

So I'm not changing my last name. It's been a year, and I've yet to really come out and announce it to people. I'm not sure how to do this, which is why I'm posting it on this blog that three people read. I just need to put it out there, ya know?

Some may wonder why. Well. There are a lot of reasons.
I grew up a Maxfield, and I spent many years crafting my identity as Emaline Maxfield. I attach a lot of significance to names. I was never raised a Rodriguez, I don't feel like a Rodriguez. I feel like Emaline Maxfield, daughter of Clark D. Maxfield and Melissa May Thompson Maxfield. I like the idea of crafting my own identity without feeling pressured by societal expectations, and I want my children to know that.
The list goes on, I promise. But I won't list them here. If you're really curious, feel free to ask me about it. I'm happy to discuss it with you.

On that note, let me say this: I believe that every woman has the choice to do what she wants when it comes to changing or not changing her last name, and I respect that--truly. My opinions are personal, and I don't impose my beliefs on others.

For most of my life, I've spent my time feeling inferior to others.
I felt like I didn't have the right clothes, right make-up, right hair, or enough knowledge to confidently approach someone.
And this needs to stop. Not just for me, but for everyone.
I don't need exterior accoutrements to be who I want to be.
Comparing myself to others is nothing but damaging.
Confidence comes from the inside, not on the outside.
I am an imperfect but capable person, just like everyone else out there.
For the first time, I actually believe this.
I'm not just repeating something for the sake of saying it because it's good.
For the first time, I'm going to start acting like the confident, capable, and yet imperfect person that I am.