Today I told myself I was going to go ask my coach if she had signed up for the Vanderbilt tournament. I even walked to her room, saw her leave her room, and followed her down the steps before chickening out and deciding to ask her "tomorrow." Why do I hesitate? Have I ever mentioned that I have difficulty approaching people? Sometimes I feel socially inept, but only to a certain degree.
I feel like I'm too much of a people pleaser...and then I start thinking of Mrs. Volansky and how hard she tried to make everyone like her. Then I thwart my thought process there, because I do not want to be like Mrs. Volansky. Sorry.
After analyzing why I couldn't find the guts within me to ask my coach about the tournament, I arrived at the above conclusion. I'm definitely making more than an effort to establish a quiz bowl team, but I don't want to push too hard that I drive people away. That thought was followed up by, "so what? It's your senior year, you'll never see these people again after May, who cares?" Occasionally it works.
"I often give myself very good advice, but seldom do I follow it."
--Alice
I bet this whole quiz bowl thing is getting boring to read about. I think my frustration is spilling over onto the blog. Sorry I wasted three minutes of your life if you actually read the entire post.
I'll make the next post about something wildly exciting. Promise. Well, my definition of wildly exciting.
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