She Hath Done What She Could

I watched the first session of general conference a few weeks ago, known as the general women's session. It's a unique opportunity to hear from the female leadership of the LDS church. One theme that stood out to me was that of service, and I wanted to share some thoughts.

She hath wrought a good work...She hath done what she could. --Mark 14: 6-8

This is all the Lord asks of us. 

"...there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." --Doctrine and Covenants 84:88

We are never alone, especially when we are serving the Lord's children.

I often think about language's ability to simultaneously limit and expand our understanding of Christ's doctrine. Communication is a funny thing; language facilitates the exchange of communication, but the efficacy of communication depends upon how the message is sent and received. Words have myriads connotations to different individuals, but culture also influences what notions we associate with certain words. When speaking about the role of women, I want to broaden how we interpret certain words that are typically associated with that topic. Neill Marriott spoke last night and I loved how she took expanded our understanding of three words in particular: to nurture, to mother, and to create. We don't have to think of these words in a way that limits them to a biologically essentialist understanding. Instead, we can see how these words apply in a variety of situations and encompass all of God's daughters. Thinking of these words and concepts in new lights allows us to broaden and value women's roles and influences and purposes in many ways. It's liberating.

Florida

Nathan and I spent the past week in Florida and it was glorious (picture evidence below).

We were in this little resort town called Palm Beach Shores. We loved it; it was quiet, empty, and small though a bit eerie at night. The beach, private for the resort guests, wasn't very crowded, the Atlantic ocean was warm. We built a sand castle which we dubbed Shell's Keep and Nathan dug holes big enough to climb in and out of it. The distant sound of the ocean was therapeutic and the sunrises peaceful. We ate lunch or breakfast on our balcony, overlooking the pool and nearby beach. And I read a book on the beach almost every day...in short, we lived the dream.  

We ventured to Miami on Friday. A colleague at work recommended that we check out world-famous South Beach and Miami features one of the (if not "the") largest concentration of Art Deco buildings. We headed downtown and oh man, we missed Palm Beach Shores. The streets were crowded with cars, pedestrians, and preying valets alike. Young adults and retired folks walked on the pavement and people hung from their ocean-view balconies. Bars lined the streets and girls danced on corners and tables to presumably attract business. The city was packed and parking was not to be found (at least at a reasonable price). After inching along the road, we decided this "college spring break" scene was not our cup of tea and we left. We met up with a friend of mine and went on a thriller speedboat tour around the harbor and into the ocean instead. It was a worthwhile decision. 

I did get a peak at some nifty art deco buildings though. I would love to go back and explore the streets in the early morning to get a glimpse of the architecture void of traffic and pedestrians. 

We got back this morning to windy, chilly Utah weather and we already miss Palm Beach. 

Four Years

Four years ago, I was sitting in an apartment in Provo. It was dark. I was watching Pride and Prejudice (the BBC masterpiece) and a cute, nervous boy was sitting next to me, holding my hand.

Shortly after the movie ended and that shy boy worked up the nerve to say what was on his mind, he asked if I would like to be his girlfriend. And I said I'd love to.

And I have loved being his girlfriend, fiance, wife, confidant, cheerleader, shoulder to cry {& sleep} on, snuggle buddy, hand to hold, travel mate, fellow late-night-snacker, co-adventurer, dancing partner, fashion adviser, best friend, and companion. He has been and is all these things for me and more.

What an adventure we embarked on four years ago.

Postscript: I just need the world to know that this man wakes up with me at 5 AM to make me breakfast during the busy work days.
Voluntarily.
Without complaint.
And it's always so yummy.
He's a keeper, I know.

Other than the light partially obliterating our faces, I love this picture. The colors, the people, the time of year.

My Portion of Humankind

I think about the following quite a bit though not often enough:

"Each of us has more opportunities to do good and to be good than we ever use. These opportunities lie all around us. Whatever the size of our present circle of effective influence, if we were to improve our performance even a little bit, that circle would be enlarged. There are many individuals waiting to be touched and loved if we care enough to improve in our performance.

We must remember that those mortals we meet in parking lots, offices, elevators, and elsewhere are that portion of mankind God has given us to love and to serve. It will do us little good to speak of the general brotherhood of mankind if we cannot regard those who are all around us as our brothers and sisters. If our sample of humanity seems unglamorous or so very small, we need to remember the parable Jesus gave us in which he reminded us that greatness is not always a matter of size or scale, but of the quality of one’s life. If we do well with our talents and with the opportunities around us, this will not go unnoticed by God. And to those who do well with the opportunities given them, even more will be given!"

To me, it's a really empowering fact that God puts you in a place at a certain time, not always for you benefit, but to benefit others. He trusts you, he gives you responsibilities, because he knows that you are capable of effecting a change in the lives of others for the better. This fact has so much potential to alter people's attitudes, and it want it to have more sway in my life as I interact with those around me. 

In the same article where the above is taken from, President Spencer W. Kimball also notes that Jesus "was not afraid of close friendships." Being social and reaching out to people is hard for me. But to be someone's friend, to gain and honor their trust, is an effective way to love and serve them. I crave to serve those around me and be an instrument in the hands of the Lord, but it's a matter of overcoming my weakness and going forth in boldness and courage to serve my portion of humankind.

My Grandmother's Nightgown

For the last several years of her life, my grandmother was home-bound. Every time we visited her, she was wearing a nightgown. She was small, with her thin, wispy, permed white hair and large-framed glasses, and her nightgowns seemed to swallow her. They were so grandmotherly--long and loose dresses of the softest material, some frill or embroidery around the edges, garnished with small buttons. It seemed so fitting, so classic, that my grandmother wore these nightgowns.

When she passed away in March, my grandfather gave her pajamas to the granddaughters who wanted them. I took one of my grandmother's nightgowns. I wore it to bed for the first time a few nights ago. The nightgown was permeated with her smell. I wanted to take it back off and put it back in the drawer so I could preserve the smell and thereby the memories associated with this nightgown.

But I left it on, and in the morning the smell merely lingered. It was a bittersweet moment as I realized that not all things have to fade away.

Graduated

I graduated. Magna Cum Laude. December 2014. Nathan, too.

Life after graduation is different than I imagined. I imagined employment or scholarships offering us opportunities in someplace else, someplace new and probably exciting. Nothing terribly exotic, but something different, a visual and physical break with my undergraduate experience.

But I find myself in the same place, same apartment, wearing the same things, eating the same things, living with the same hand-me-down furniture as my undergraduate years. In two years, I'll probably find myself in the same place; if not the same apartment then the same quiet college town.

I can't help but feel that life has a way of being anticlimactic. Something "big" happens, the hulabaloo dies down in a matter of minutes, hours, or maybe even days, and then it continues. Life picks back up, and on you go.

Who knows what I'm looking for when these big life events happen? I think I'm searching for a pause button. Wait, wait, just a minute. Let's savor this moment, celebrate with people we love, and just take a small break to say yes! We did it! But life, especially my life, happens quietly. It really makes me reevaluate history, this awareness of just how quiet yet significant peoples' lives can be.