My [hip-hop magic jazz fingers] Nathan

So today, we were ordering our Bountiful Basket (if you don't know what that is, go here for more information). Bountiful baskets come with lots of fresh fruits and veggies, but they also offer what are called "add-ons." These are additional items you can order such as bread, additional produce, etc. Nathan and I were trying to decide which add-on we wanted, and we were corresponding over email (oh you know, this one looks good, but what do you want? I dunno, this one looks good, too. What do you want? etc.) when Nathan busted this out:

"Alas, my decision is yet delayed, for my tastebuds yearn for one add-on like unto many others.  That is to say, I think the 5 9-grain loaves sounds delish.  That's currently my only competitor with the tropical hip-hop magic jazz fingers add on.  My only worry is, we don't have room to freeze four loaves of bread, much less three.  I therefore must conclude that if thou hast no objections to the magical flip floppety tropical add on, that this will be a choice of superior quality and wisdom.  I thank thee.  What says't thou?"

It was one of those moments where I realized the great choice I made in marrying this multifaceted and quick-witted husband of mine. 

Something Way Cool

I just rediscovered Christine de Pizan, and so should you: The Book of the City of Ladies
I want to read this book. To think that other women, well before the twenty-first century, were taking care to preserve the memory of other influential women is astounding, and I want to know about them. Who doesn't want a renegotiation of the Medieval Era's popular image?

Feminist Confessions

Lately I've been toying with the idea of starting an LDS feminist blog. But I really don't think I could keep it up on a regular basis, and I'm not sure I have something to contribute. I like reading and being aware of discourses. So maybe I'll just compile links of good blogs or articles to read. (Sometimes I wish there was more of that on the internet.) Or maybe write a blog about Mormon women's history. Guys, that stuff is inspiring and so interesting, and I want to talk about it more. I'll consider it.

So I'm not changing my last name. It's been a year, and I've yet to really come out and announce it to people. I'm not sure how to do this, which is why I'm posting it on this blog that three people read. I just need to put it out there, ya know?

Some may wonder why. Well. There are a lot of reasons.
I grew up a Maxfield, and I spent many years crafting my identity as Emaline Maxfield. I attach a lot of significance to names. I was never raised a Rodriguez, I don't feel like a Rodriguez. I feel like Emaline Maxfield, daughter of Clark D. Maxfield and Melissa May Thompson Maxfield. I like the idea of crafting my own identity without feeling pressured by societal expectations, and I want my children to know that.
The list goes on, I promise. But I won't list them here. If you're really curious, feel free to ask me about it. I'm happy to discuss it with you.

On that note, let me say this: I believe that every woman has the choice to do what she wants when it comes to changing or not changing her last name, and I respect that--truly. My opinions are personal, and I don't impose my beliefs on others.

For most of my life, I've spent my time feeling inferior to others.
I felt like I didn't have the right clothes, right make-up, right hair, or enough knowledge to confidently approach someone.
And this needs to stop. Not just for me, but for everyone.
I don't need exterior accoutrements to be who I want to be.
Comparing myself to others is nothing but damaging.
Confidence comes from the inside, not on the outside.
I am an imperfect but capable person, just like everyone else out there.
For the first time, I actually believe this.
I'm not just repeating something for the sake of saying it because it's good.
For the first time, I'm going to start acting like the confident, capable, and yet imperfect person that I am.

Merry Christmas

My first Christmas as a married woman in my own house. Needless to say, there have been a lot of Christmas lights, hot chocolate, and some coordinating ornaments involved. Oh, and unusually large stocking stuffers.

Merry Christmas from us to you! 

Quality Solutions to Life's Problems

Me: My professor called me Madeline six times in class today. I thought she would correct herself or realize her mistake, but no! She kept calling me Madeline. Should I say something to her or is that just making it more dramatic than it needs to be?
My dad: What's this professor's name?
Me: Prof. Peacock
My dad: Well, next time you talk to her, call her Professor Pigeon!

Pleased

I really don't want this post to sound like I'm gloating or basking in the glory of myself. Rather, I feel like I've worked hard this past semester, and I've enjoyed the challenges it's presented. I really feel that the Lord has strengthened me throughout these past few months and helped me achieve my academic and work-related goals. So I'm incredibly pleased and thankful and humbled by the experiences I've had.
And because I'm so happy and pleased with my work, which would have not turned out so well without a caring Father in Heaven, I just want to share some things I'm particularly pleased with.

--I wrote three papers this semester that I absolutely loved. One of them was about Berthe Morisot and how she balanced the maternal and political aspects of her life. Another was about images of working women in the 1950s. And finally, the last one was about Maria Janitschek's short story "In Weiss." This last paper was my absolute favorite. I poured my heart and soul into it and tackled a topic that is not easy but nonetheless one I'm passionate about.
--My professor told me to submit my Janitschek paper to the Sophie Journal, and I'm totally going to do this. (It's an online publication run by BYU's German department that accepts papers from students.)
--I made an unlikely friend-ish. He's a student in the class I work in as a TA. At the beginning of the semester he was having trouble grasping the material, so we set up a weekly appointment to review class material and answer any questions that he had. At first, I thought he would be difficult to work with and constantly complaining about having to take this class. He made it quite obvious he didn't want to. But I've learned that some people just need another person to listen to them, and sometimes that's all you need to do to serve another person. I'm grateful that he's proven to be friendly and easy to work with.
--I submitted a paper for my Northern Baroque class, and my professor encouraged me to pursue the topic for a senior thesis. I'm not sure if I will, but I'm considering it. I'm mostly grateful for the direction and possibility it gives me. I've been dreading picking a topic for my senior thesis, but now I at least have an option endorsed by one of the professors.
 --I like to think that I have been able to help several of the students in my class. (I call it "my" class, but really it's Professor Peacock's, and I'm just her lowly TA.) Helping people is a really fantastic thing to do, and it makes me happy.
--I have gained greater confidence with regards to my conversational skills. Seriously, they used to be so bad. But now I'm able to sustain a conversation for more than two minutes. Quality improvement, folks. I still have a long way to go, but it's going.
--I had three papers due in a matter of two weeks and midterms to grade on top of that (midterms consume 20 hours of my week, by the way). But I planned ahead, and was able to not write any of those papers the night before. I'm gaining a greater testimony with regards to planning ahead. It's really phenomenal.

So I'm pretty much done. This semester was busy but happy, and I think I'm allowed to be content with the way I handled certain situations.
Confidence, folks. Can you feel it grow and blossom inside of you? Wonderful, isn't it? Choosing to be confident and letting it show. (But hopefully it never turns into arrogance.)